A reminder: The motivation behind this is to share my real, unfiltered experiences. After hours spent googling what pregnancy, labour and motherhood would be like to try and gain some insight to prepare, when I went through it I soon realised that it was NOTHING like the internet said it would be. If you have a question then I’d be happy to answer (within reason).
This blog is all about the labour and delivery, an honest account of how it was for me. Remember that every pregnancy and delivery is different, just because this is what happened for me, doesn’t mean it would be the same for you.
During pregnancy I was repeatedly told “it doesn’t happen like on TV” when your waters break, and in 90-93% of cases your waters break after your contractions have started, some people even need a helping hand to break them. Not me! I was 4 days overdue and I had been for a sweep the day before where my midwife was happy to find I was in latent labour. This is where the cervix has started to dilate and soften before contractions have started. I messaged Harry to ask what he wanted to do after work because I was bored waiting for the baby to make an appearance. I put my phone down, stood up to go to the toilet for what felt like the 102nd time that day and WHOOSH! My waters broke in spectacular fashion. I went to the bathroom and called Harry to let him know. I found out later he was in the middle of watching the Champions League Football final and before he answered he jokingly thought “she knows I’m watching the game, she best be about to tell me she’s in labour!” He immediately panicked when I gave him the news and I told him to stay at work as I won’t need to go anywhere for ages yet.
(A sweep is where the midwife or doctor uses a finger to separate the amniotic membranes from the cervix, which can stimulate the release of hormones called prostaglandins that help initiate labor. This can also help prevent the need for more formal methods of induction.)
While still sitting in the bathroom, as my waters continued to break, I called the midwife who asked a few questions and said that as contractions haven’t started I would need to come to hospital right now to check for signs of infection. I called Harry back and let him know he wouldn’t be finishing his work day afterall, and we headed off to hospital. Cue more panicking from Harry, who seemed to be further unnerved by my lack of worrying.
I called our trusty steed, aka Kaitlin (friend and owner of Botanical Bath Co), who I met at university. She was our secret squirrel driver and the only person to know I was in labour as she had volunteered to be on call to take us and pick us up when the big day arrived. I really recommend keeping it quiet when you go into labour. For us, it meant I could focus on the task at hand, my family weren’t up worrying about me and we weren’t getting bombarded with messages we wouldn’t be able to reply to. I did ask my parents how they felt about this decision and both agreed it was a good plan.
The challenge was getting from my bathroom to the hospital without getting amniotic fluid everywhere in our rented flat. This was something no one had talked about beforehand, but, while I waited for Harry to get home I stood in my shower to clean down my legs. However, standing there became a necessity because I wasn’t able to move without an intermittent faucet-like flow of amniotic fluid going everywhere. Without going into too much detail, the maternity pads were useless to me, I had to sit on a puppy pad in the car and I mostly stayed sat in the bathroom at the hospital while I waited to be seen.
Top tip: Stock up on super absorbant TENA Lady pants. They were AMAZING for after my waters broke, but they were also invaluable during postpartum recovery. I found maternity pads were annoying, uncomfortable and moved easily, but the TENA lady pants were super comfy and did an excellent job.
I was checked at the hospital, asked a few questions to screen me for possible infection and booked me back in for an induction 24 hours later in case my contractions hadn’t started by then. This is because the risk of infection to me and my baby increases drastically when there is no protective fluid left around the baby.
A little under 12 hours later, at 4am, I was woken by a pulling sensation in my lower abdomen and back. I laid in the quiet, early hours, listening to the birds as I decided that this was it, THE moment, or so I thought. I walked around a little while Harry slept (I didn’t see a reason to wake him yet) and then, having felt completely underwhelmed because this didn’t even come close to period pain, I went back to sleep for 4hrs. I called the midwife unit when I woke up to confirm contractions had started and they said, unless my contractions got to 3 minutes apart, I would need to stay home until my 5pm induction appointment. So I got comfy and played some video games with Harry until I couldn’t concentrate, then we watched nearly all of the first two Lord of the Rings films while I sat on my medicine ball.
My conctraction were starting to become more frequent by the time I had to go in for my induction appointment, but not close enough to warrant going to hospital earlier than scheduled. I called ahead and despite being in labour and expecting to go to the midwife-led unit, I was told I would still need to go to the induction unit for assessment and monitoring due to the infection risk.
I was given a bed, checked in, and had heart monitors attached to me, one for my heart and one for my baby. My dilation measurement was checked and they said they can start my induction to speed things along if I wanted. I declined and managed my pain with the paracetamol offered and breathing techniques I had dilligently learned during my hypnobirthing e-course. This pattern of being checked, offered an induction, and declining continued until nearly 1am. I didn’t see the point in trying to speed things up when my contractions had already reached 1 every minute, on the minute, lasting 45 seconds, like a crossfit workout.
I did change my mind on my pain relief choice, because after nearly 24hrs in labour, 6 of those hours being the aforementioned crossfit workout, I needed a break from feeling like my pelvis was trying to implode. I live my life in pain due to fibromyalgia, but this was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was unfortunate enough to have ‘back labour’ where I could feel the contractions in the front of my abdomen and round the side of my pelvis to my lower back. Anyway. I said I would like an epidural, so off I went to the consultant-led unit to find I had another 2hr wait because the anaesthetist was in surgery.
In the meantime, I had gas & air which was fantastic! It doesn’t stop the pain completely, but it made me forget my body hurt, it’s difficult to describe the sensation. It also rids you of all ability to filter your thoughts before they come out of your mouth, but your memories of what is said are crystal clear after, unlike some other pain medication. Eventually I was introduced to Phil The Anaesthetist, the conversation went like this:
“This is Phil, the anaesthetist…”
“Hello, Phil… If I was my mother, I would tell you that you look about 12 which is FAR too young to be a doctor. BUT I AM NOT MY MOTHER! I am, in fact, very pleased you look so young because it means you’ll be up to date on the latest techniques and have great eyesight.”
He laughed this off and, I later found out, chuckled to Harry that he was actually 3 times the age I had suggested.
I sat on the side of the bed, and between contractions, my epidural was done. You have to hug a pillow and use gas and air for pain relief while they administer the local anesthetic. The second needle then provided the epidural. I was laid back down as they positioned my new tube of sanity over my shoulder, connecting the port in my back to the bag of pain relief, and gave me the top-up button to press. The epidural works fairly quickly, numbing begins from the feet up, and the midwives make sure the numbing doesn’t go above the belly button by using a cold spray and asking if you can feel it. This allowed me to finally get some sleep.
Sleep was broken, but restful enough and I was pain free while my body did what it was designed to do. I had a mild reaction to the epidural which caused uncontrollable shaking. I knew this could happen so i remained calm, but it was very strange to experience. When I had reached full dilation, I was then given 2hrs of passive labouring down, where your body is given the chance to keep labouring while under the epidural. After the first hour the midwives realised thet my baby had rotated 90 degrees. She was still head down but facing to one side. Anatomically it is not possible to give birth to a side facing baby, only face up or face down, so they laid me on my side to encourage her to turn back again, which she did.
The time to push arrived! I had prepared for this by letting my epidural wear off enough that I could feel each contraction on a low level allowing me to time each push correctly. I pushed for 2hrs without success, it was exhausting; after a quick check my midwife realised my baby had swivelled 90 degrees and was once again facing my hip. This is where things got a bit more urgent and after looking back on what was happening I can see where I may have been given half-truths instead of the full truth so I didn’t panic.
I was told the consultant doctor and their team would be checking in with us to get an overview of the ward’s patients. I now believe that the midwives had reached a point where they needed back up and didn’t want to worry us so had requested the consultants presence. Roughly 10mins later a team of 5 people walked in, I don’t remember everyones purpose, except for one very kind man who was the Anaesthesia Associate (AA), he played a huge part in my comfort from this point until the birth, and the consultant doctor (who it later transpired was the consultant surgeon on duty).
My consultant informed me she was going to manually help turn my baby with her own hand on the next contraction while I pushed. I thank the epidural for the heavy lifting it did here because this manoeuver was excruciating despite still being mostly numbed. Unsurprisingly, this didn’t work. Suddenly there was a lot more movement, the consultant explained she would like to try again but, to limit risk, she would like to perform this technique in a place where she can easily and quickly move on to the next intervention: the operating theatre. I was given a consent form to read and sign about having a c-section, something that had not explicitly been mentioned to me yet, Harry had a set of scrubs thrust into his hands, all while my monitoring machines were loaded up and prepared to be moved to theatre.
I hadn’t grasped the gravity of what was happening and the communication with me was a little thin on the ground while my doctors were following a plan amongst themselves. Not a criticism, the medical staff were making decisions based on keeping me and my baby safe, sometimes that doesn’t include stopping to talk the patient through the details. This is why have a birth partner is such an important job. I felt worried, but I was confident that Harry knew my birth wishes off by heart so if he or I wanted more information he could ask or advocate for me as needed.
I arrived in theatre and was introduced to many more staff members, including Phil the Anaethestist from earlier. I sheepishly apologised to him for what I’d said before, he chuckled and replied he’d had far worse said to him by people inhaling gas and air! Once I had been settled on the operating table, we had a second attempt at turning my baby during a contraction which was once again unsuccessful. I caught my consultant shake her head and make a twirling motion with her hand to her associates and the room came alive with hustle and bustle. She then explained that there was no other option than to proceed with a c-section because with my baby in the position she was in would result in severe damage to me if she attempted to use forceps.
They began administering my spinal block, which numbs me from the chest down, and requires the AA to frequently test my arms to make sure the numbness doesn’t go too high up my spinal cord. This takes a while to work but the AA talks me through what’s happening, and let’s me know what’s coming next, including any incoming needles for blood draws. He also kept me informed on what I might feel during the surgery. He was easily the MVP of the room. He even tactfully stepped away as I cried to Harry that I was disappointed I had no choice but the surgery because it wasn’t the experience I’d hoped for and I blamed my body for letting me down (I’ve worked through these feelings since!)
I couldn’t feel any pain sensations during my c section, but I could feel pressure and pulling. The only description that accurately identifies the feeling was that I felt like a washing up bowl. I can’t tell you how long it took because I lost all track of time, but I can tell you that the violent, seizure-like shaking I endured as part of the reaction to the spinal block didn’t make my top 10 favourite birth moments. I also felt very nauseous but hadn’t eaten for over 24hrs so I had nothing to bring up.
Then, the moment I had been waiting for, I heard the guttural screams of my baby a split second before they briefly lifted her over the screen to show me, then whisked her off to a table behind me. The table was positioned somewhere I couldn’t see, which is probably deliberate, in case baby is in distress or worse, and it prevents you from witnessing it. I remember shouting at Harry to “GO WITH HER” because he was dithering between me and her, unsure who he should be more concerned over. He had his moment to cut the cord and after a quick examination, they cleaned her, wrapped her up, popped a purple hat on her that we had picked earlier and placed her on my chest. My heart exploded with love, I cannot accurately describe this moment, but it felt like time stood still. She even stopped screaming for the time I was allowed to keep her held against me, and I heard someone say, “Aww, she knows who her mum is”.
Next part of my story coming up in the next blog about recovery.
Wisbey Osteopathy 